Recently I was talking to my six year-old daughter as she was lying in her bed. I looked down at her and was impressed to tell her that she is beautiful. In typical 6 year-old fashion, she replied, "I know." It welled up in me to express to her that I am glad she knows she is beautiful, and to tell her that there may come a day when someone may say something to her to make her feel like she is not beautiful, or that circumstances may come about that would try to make her feel like she is not pretty, but to always remember how YHWH feels about her, and remember what his Word says about her. The world wants to break us down, and life is hard, YHWH stays the same.
When I was around eleven or twelve years old I asked my mom if she thought I was pretty. Her reply to me was, "I think you're just a Plain Jane, like me." My feelings weren't hurt, and I didn't think she was being mean, I just thought she was being honest. I trusted her to tell me the truth because she was my mom. The problem is that her truth was warped by the way she felt about herself and how she had been spoken to as a child. Only now in my thirties have I begun to feel pretty and take on more of a style of my own and really care about how I look. I have been married for ten years to a fantastic husband who would tell me I was beautiful, but I just thought he just said it because he loved me so I was beautiful to him because of what he saw on the inside.
What really has made a change in me has been Holy Spirit working in me to feel more confident over the years. Then, with more confidence, I began running, lost some weight, started to work at how I dress more and take care of myself and began to receive compliments. I don't look any different now than I did 15 years ago (other than aged a bit, I imagine,) I have the same nose, same hair, same skin color and eyes. What I do have is confidence in the one who created me, and that shines through. Through obedience to Him, I feel better about myself. When we don't follow after the things He shows us to do, we can't feel good about ourselves because we have the guilt in our hearts that come with disobedience.
Disobedience comes in many forms. I was not in some big outward sin, and I imagine that to most people I appeared to be a godly person. For me, the main struggle is in attitudes of laziness, selfishness, unbelief and fear. When I make the choice to overcome these attitudes, and allow him to work through me, I can be a blessing to others and myself. I have a 9 year-old son with special needs who requires most things to be done for him. For years I was depressed because I felt sorry for myself. I had to learn to get over it, and be diligent in the things God has given me to do, and I am blessed in that. In reaching out to others, I minister to myself.
I want to see my daughter thrive in life, and be blessed and be a blessing to others. I can do that by being an example to her, praying for her, and building her up in the Word, teaching her how YHWH sees her, and teaching her obedience. I warn her of the things that may come against her, and equip her to stand up against them.
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